Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Points to Ponder

How can you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Does anyone ever vanish with a trace?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If Fed Ex and UPS merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're still ahead"?
If the Energizer Bunny atttacks someone, is it charged with battery?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Don't they all stop eventually?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
You know how most packages say "Open here." What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane with the same substance?
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

(from F. R.)


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