New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.



Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:



______a Martini



______a Manhattan



______a Single Malt



______a Bloody Mary



______a Vodka and Tonic



______a glass of Chardonnay



______a Steak



______Lobster or crab legs



______The remote control



______a bowl of ice cream



______The sports page



______Chocolate



______Sex





It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.



At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.





Signature: ___________________________



Date: ___________________________

(from A. V.)