Witty Remarks

If I walked on water, there are some people who would say, "See, he can't swim." ~Senator John Thune (R-SD)

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. ~Evan Davis

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. ~Steven Wright

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. ~Daniel J. Boorstin

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of protraits by Picasso. ~Ruth Rudner

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~Winston Churchill

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ~Oscar Wilde